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Tears of the Fallen
Warning: Rated "Adult" for safety, due to dark themes and violence. There may also be some bad language. Don't like, don't read. Disclaimer: I don't own Dungeons and Dragons. Tears of the Fallen Chapter One: Beginning ???'s POV It was in the late evening. The sunset was nearing its end, enlighting the distant horizont in a faint magenta. Stars were twinkling, and the moon was now shining in the darkblue nightsky. Every so often a gentle nightbreeze would blow by, causing most of the forest's plantlife to sway along with it, as if in a silent melody. Animals of various kinds could be heard making noises from their respective nests, further adding to the nocturnal beauty. Life seemed to be thriving. To anyone who knew how to appreciate nature and all it's inhabitants, this was a truly beautiful sight. Unfortunately, not all beautiful things lasts, and not all living beings are given an easy start on life. This scenario was quickly proven true, when a much louder and much more unwelcoming noise announced it's presence. *CRACK!* The tree first dented, then shattered from the impact, as the hand that hit it easily tore through the bark and further into the core, sending pieces and splinters of wood flying everywhere. But it didn't stop here. It far from did. I wouldn't allow it. Why? I was just too angry. Angry at the world for all the pain and the injustice it brought me. *CRACK!* *BAM!* *CRASH!* Again and again, the hand slammed through the massive plant, and this time the tree clearly didn't hold to it, as it slowly fell through the air until it landed hard on the grass-covered ground, causing small tremors and sending even more wood as well as debris flying in all directions. The animal-life, upon hearing the commotion, quickly scattered, with some hiding wherever they could in the vegetation, while others went into defense mode and looked around them frantically, as if trying to figure out where the annoying sound originated from. However, if one thougt the sound of a large crashing tree was annoying, then the sound that was about to come next, was definitely going to be a nightmare come true for everyone to hear. Actually, this was exactly what I had hoped it would be. A nightmare. A bad dream that no matter how bad it was, would never last forever. Until a week or so ago, I had always been able to wake up, only to find myself lying in a bed, scared out of my mind, but so relieved at the same time. Simply because it was never real. But now it seems I have run out of luck, per usual. Strange, isn't it? Maybe I just never had any luck to begin with. Is that why everyone around me always either dies or keeps betraying me? It doesn't matter in which order it happens. They are all going to die one way or another, regardless of what choice they make. Now that I think about it, I probably don't have a choice in the matter, either. Its pretty simple, really. If they betray my trust just so they can torment me later, then they are going to feel my wrath for all it is worth. But should they ever try to truly befriend me, as small as that chance is...as in standing up for me whenever I was being tormented and vulnerable. As in comforting me whenever I felt down in the dumps. As in playing and spending time with me so I wouldn't get lonely or bored. As in being honest with me and never tell any lies...the list goes on. But perhaps most importantly...was the willingness to stay loyal. The willingness to never run away and abadon me. The willingness...to defend and protect me, even if doing so would come at a terrible price. Yes, you guessed it already. If people weren't openly against me, then they were believed to be with me, and for that so-called "sin" they would be executed, neutral or not. Not by me, but at the hands of the very people who despised me. And as if this wasn't bad enough, they would also make sure that those who sided with me would be killed very slowly, rather than granting them a quick and painless death. All because I was a little bit different. Then I screamed. I screamed, I screamed, and I screamed some more. And not just any kind of scream. But a loud, howling, and wailing kind of scream, that I was absolutely positive could be heard miles away from where I was standing. Not that I cared anyway. I was far too caught up in my own rage and grief to even notice if anyone heard me. One thing was for sure, though; the animals didn't waste any time in getting out of here. Not as much as a second. But the reason that I even started screaming like this was not due to physical pain. No, the pain I felt was something else, something far more excruaiting. What I felt was emotional agony. The pain of betrayal and the loss that followed with it. Rage, grief, hatred, confusion...even disgust. That kind of agony. It didn't even hurt when I started smashing that tree to pieces with my own two bare hands in a fit of rage. Not by a long shot. And even if it did hurt...then I wouldn't care. Not that I actually could care if I wanted to, anyway. My body was probably already so sore from all the travling that I had been forcing it to go through as of lately, it wouldn't make a difference anyway. But just because it didn't hurt, that didn't mean I would get any less angry at the world around me. I finally stopped screaming. The whole forest fell into dreadful silence. I was still shaking and quivering all over after my sudden emotional outburst. I collapsed on the ground in a state of exhaustion, breathing heavily, only to slowly rise back up again. Then I slowly started walking. One careful trembling step at a time. Adrealine flooded through my veins, threatening to send my blood to the boiling point, while my heart furiously tumped against my ribcage. I stared off into the distance, a vicious snarl escaping my lips as I did so. And so I continued walking, dimly wondering what I was going to do next. I was still contemplating my next course of action, when a loud rumbling noise started resonating in the air, snapping me out of my strain of thoughts. At first I panicked, worrying if some angry animal had been trying to sneak up on me as revenge for the ear-piercing shriek I had made not too long ago. The sound, however, was not coming from any sort of animal, but rather from my own stomach. Which reminded me just how hungry...and how thirsty...I had become right now. How long had it been since I ate or drank, let alone have a proper meal? Then, my eyes started dropping, my bodily movements slowing down a little. I was also starting to feel so very tired. It was getting late. One hour or two later, and the forested terrain I was standing in would be plunged into darkness. Some food and water, plus a good long nights sleep didn't really seem like such a bad idea at the time. Forcing my eyelids open and speeding up the pace with renewed motivation, it was settled then. "Better go find something to eat, I guess. No use in starving. I should also find a safe place to sleep. Tomorrow, I will be on the move again, as always." As these thoughts ran through my mind, I carefully moved further into the foreboding forest, head turning and twisting, eyes looking and searching for anything edible. Surely, I could find something...right? Truth be told, that was way easier said than done. Ground was carved out, bushes were searched, and trees were climbed, the latter with much fear and hesistation. I always had a fear of heights. That didn't stop me from trying, though. But alas, I never found anything. I even investigated the tree that I trashed earlier. Tore off bark, searched branches, and checked the roots. No such luck. I hissed and snarled, cursing mentally. "Iryana damn it!" *CRASH!* I angrily gave the tree a solid kick, easily sending it rolling and tumbling, shattering it in the process. I sighed. "I '''still' haven't found anything."'' I thought grimly. "Not even a single berry or edible herb. Or a mushroom." I turned around, and dusted myself off´in irritation, removing the large clumps of debris and dirt that had become stuck on my body. At this point I would have been happy to eat even a spirits-damned larvae. So much for trying. Then I lifted my head and focused my gaze to the nightsky. The Sun was now completely gone, being concealed from view in the horizont. In it's place was the Moon, accompanied by thousands upon thousands of stars glowing and twinkling ever so beautifully in different colors. Midnight had truly come. I had already traversed most of the forest that I had considered myself fortunate enough to reach about a day ago. But I had yet to see any foodsource. Even worse, I had already wasted far too much energy. "Maybe I'll have more luck with finding water." I thought hopefully. "I'm so thirsty." But searching for precious water only turned out to be just as daunting a task, if not exhausting. Despite doing my damnest to find and gather any drinkable liquid in this good-for-nothing forest, I was still just so utterly hopeless at this chore, like I always had been. Strong or not. Fast or not. Unique or not. None of this idiotic talk meant anything to me. All it had ever meant, so far I was concerned, was that not only did this make me more even likely to overexert myself more than my body could readily handle, it also marked me as an potential source of insane mass-destruction - and killing. Massive devastation, that although sometimes well-deserved, if not tempting, could also easily backfire, maybe even kill me, if I wasn't careful. Add the fact that I was still relatively young and remained trapped in a ball of boiling turmoil and despair, and we are only just slowly nearing the distant base of the mountain. I was still wandering aimlessy through the woods, moving and pushing any branches out of my way, the green grass making a soft crunching sound with each single step that I took, when I suddenly came upon a large field, almost stumbling over some bushes as I now almost left the forest behind me. Placing my right hand on a nearby tree while leaning on to it for support, the exhaustion started to get the better of me yet once again. My knees began to buckle, first mildly, then severely, causing me to slide down hard against the tree until I finally collapsed on the ground in a defeated heap. Now I was beginning to lose hope. "So this is it, huh? Is this how it's all going to end? Am I going to die?" Pathetic. So very, very pathetic. So unfit and unworthy, it sounded like a joke. A very, very cruel joke. But then again, it was only to be expected, right? After all, when you are on your own outside in the middle of nowhere, with no idea how to make your way through this unforgiving world, things like this is bound to happen. Hunger clawed furiously at my stomach, the latter basically craving for some form of sustenance. My throat felt dry and sore from the near-total lack of water, almost unbearably so. My mind swam with dizziness, spinning the world around me in circles and blurring my already fading vision. My chest clearly heaved as I feebly attempted to supress a loud yawn. Did I forget to mention that I was also becoming so incredibly sleepy? I guess that's no surprise really, seeing how I haven't been able to get even a remotely decent nights sleep for a whole week now. Said sleepiness threatened to dominate for control, tempting me to give in to it's sweet embrace. I just struggled to stay awake. A nightbreeze blew by, making me shiver ever so slightly. "Great." I thought sourly. "Now I'm also getting cold. Can this get any worse?" Undoubtly, it could. One hand, this time my left, found it's way to my chest...and was meet by a very unpleaseant discovery. I could feel my own ribs. I had lost weight. Too much weight, in fact. I closed my eyes, growling darkly at my far too obvious bad luck. "For the love of Vishoumi, this is just briliant!" At this rate I wasn't really sure just how much longer I would be able to survive in this weakened state. To sum all this up, I was starved, dehydrated and sleep-and-rest-deprivated. Death seemed like a likely event. "Guess it's only a matter of time now." I thought bitterly. Which was true, sadly. And thus...I just laid there on my side in a lush vegetation-filled field, breathing heavily and trying not to think about what I feared might eventually come. What a pitiful sight I must have been. There was just one problem. I didn't really want to die...did I? I pondered this possibility, if only for a brief moment. Then I clenched my hands into fists and barred my teeth in a furious snarl. I wanted to shout and swear, but all that ever came out were the warped sounds of a enraged beast in distress. No. I didn't want to die. There was no way by Kazaldrya that I would allow death to claim me so easily. I know it sounds selfish, I won't deny that. Some may even call me a hypocrite. But I had my reasons to fight for survival. If I gave up now...then the people who hated me would definitely have an excuse to laugh their heads off. I could already imagine that sickening look in their eyes, followed by cruel laughter echoing all over the horizont. True, I had killed the said people not too long before I went on the run. But still, this wasn't fair. Not fair at all. To be honest, I don't really think I deserved any of this, let alone death. Why am I feeling this way, you wonder? Because...they were the ones who started all of this. They were the ones who made me feel so much rage that it simply destroyed them. They provoked me to kill, provoked me to murder. And I hated them for it. I never wanted to be a mass-murder. I didn't even have it in me to actually hurt someone. But it never stopped them from tormenting me and the very few beings who I just so happened to truly care about. Quite to the contray, this only encouraged them to keep going at it, to see how much I could handle, before I finally lost it. They never saw it coming that maybe they had made me lose my temper a little too much. And now, look where it brought us. Me, alone in a forest-field border, and in a state that felt disturbingly close to dying. Not to mention that I was so lost as one could possibly become. I didn't have the foggiest idea of where I was or where to go. If there was any place worth walking off to, that is. The closest thing to a safe place I had found so far was this forest, but it had done little to sustain me. Oh well, at least I had found a place where I could sleep for the night. As for my tormentors...well, they were dead, of course. Their bodies turned to the finest dust before scattering with the ever flowing wind. My hands would forever be stained with their blood. Serves them right after what they did. And while giving up and dying myself definitely seemed like the easiest way out...I just couldn't allow it to happen. I opened my eyes fully again, observing the nocturnal scenery around me. The dizziness had ceased somewhat by now. Then an image suddenly flashed before my vision. An image filled with loved ones. A kindhearted smile adorned each one of their innocent faces, while their eyes gave off an warm, radiating glow of compassion rivaling that of the Sun. I shook my head in painful determination. No. I didn't want to think about that right now. This wasn't the time nor the place to be reminiscing about my past childhood, no matter how disgustingly bitter or serenely joyful it may have been. Twisting and turning my body around a little, I tried to stand up again, careful not to use any more energy than absolutely neccessary, least I would probably just collapse into the grass-filled ground again, and then there would no guarantee this time around that I could stay awake. Because seriously, how long could I take this torment? How much longer would I be able to stay alive and awake, let alone to keep moving from place to place, every single day and night, until my bodily needs finally overrode my ability to stay strong? The very last thing I wanted to happen right now was to fall unconscious and never wake up again. I didn't want to...to actually die in my sleep. But I also couldn't stay here, not in a open area like this, and especially not in such a vulnerable state. What if somebody found me? The idea of staying in one place only so I could be found by someone who would gladly attack me out of pure prejudice, didn't stick very well with me. So yes, I had to get moving. Quickly, before anything like that could even have a chance of happening. Using both of my hands to push myself off the ground, I slowly came back on my feet again, tough not without stumbling and wobbling considerably. The need for sleeping was still pulling heavily on my mind, but it wasn't nearly so bad as before, thankfully. Lying down and actually resting, if only for a very short moment, must have done something good for me for once, it seemed. That didn't mean I was about to try my luck, however. I also still felt a little weak and dazed, which only further stressed the problem at hand. I still hadn't found a suitable place in that forest behind me to sleep. I also still hadn't found any food to eat or a single drop of water to drink. And now it was even later at night than before. Me and my good-for-nothing Zinomi-damned bad luck. But then again...bad luck was never truly useful, only destructive. The spirits must really hate me, warping me into this wretched existence of a life. Not that I had any belief in them anyway. This faith had immediately been put a stop to when I first learned just how utterly cruel and heartless this world could be. Which was also one of the main reasons as to why I was feeling so painfully lost at the time. Now standing fully upright, I hesitatingly turned around, my eyes looking back and forth between what I had deemed to be a relatively safe forest and a potentially more dangerous open field that I had yet to explore. I then stood still, as I carefully tried to figure out what to do next. A tired sigh emanated from the deepth of my chest at the thought of this troublesome dilemma. I already knew and understood by then that nothing is ever so easy as it seems. "Let me see...if I go back to the forest now, so that I can get some sleep, then there is a chance that I will be fully rested the next day. But there is also a risk that I could die instead. There's no telling if I will be able to survive this night. On the other hand, if I choose to go explore this open field, I might just get lucky enough to find some food and water, so that I won't die of hunger and thirst, respectively. But...it will also make me more vulnerable to attack. But it's also very dark outside, so it probably doesn't even matter. Perhaps I'm worrying too much...still, one can never be too careful." Letting out a loud growl and shaking my head in dissapointment, I decided to return to the forest. Tomorrow I would continue my search, but right now and then, I really needed some sleep. After all, the more I went on the move without any sort of rest, the greater was the risk that I would eventually just drop dead. So doing what I felt was neccesary, I moved back into the obscuring shade of the trees where no-one could see me. When I stood less than just a few meters from re-entering the forest, I stopped. Giving one last look at the lush, vegetation-filled field that could possibly bear anything edible for me to feed on, and perhaps even hide some water that I had yet to spot in the darkness, I turned around once more and hissed in faint anger. "This is useless." I thought hatefully. "I'm wasting my time here." The anger didn't last very long, however, leaving me in a empty silence. I yawned. "I better go to sleep. Forget my fear of heights. I'll just make myself comfortable in a treetop or something." Which is exactly what I was about to do. Now back inside the ever-green forest, I simply went for the nearest tall tree, not even bothering to instead search for something else lying in middle of the forest, and thus would have been much more well-hidden. Rather, I merely choose what was in front of me out of sheer sleepiness. Coming to a stop in front of my chosen sleep-place, I couldn't help but hesitate. It wasn't like there was anything wrong with what I had set my eyes on. It was both tall and strong, enough to easily bear my weight, and it had a thick, dense layer of leaf-cover that could conceal me from view, should anyone decide to pass by this forest, or even through it, as the case may be. The problem was just that...I was so sorely afraid of heights. I hissed, cursing myself for such an idiotic weakness. "Come on now." I urged, trying to encourage myself. It's not so bad. All you need to do, is to jump and latch yourself onto the bark, and then you just need to climb the rest of the way. It's not really all that hard." Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. Then I opened them again, preparing myself. Next, I settled down on all fours and arched my back. "Ok...here goes nothing!" And then, like a young bird attempting it's very first flight, I jumped. *STAB!* *CRACK!* *RIIIIIP!* My fingers easily pierced through the wood as was it nothing else but soft vegetation, despite my current malnourishment. So easy in fact, that the bark was torn right off, causing me to slowly slide down just a few feet, and for a moment I feared that I was actually going to fall down instead. Fortunately, it didn't happen. Rather, I managed to steady myself so that I could hold onto the surface with a secure grip. "So far, so good." I thought with a determined look on my face. "Now I just need to climb until I'm so far up that no-one will be able to see me, let alone reach me. Then I will use some of the leaves to make a quick nest and get some much needed sleep. Sounds simple enough." But even if and when things sounds or seems simple, then most of these are in fact going to be very hard, even for an unique being like me. Just right now, while I was climbing this tree, I had to constantly remind myself as to not look down, otherwise I would likely get scared and become stuck in one place as a result. And if I first became stuck, then there was no doubt in my mind that I really would fall down with serious consequences to follow. The fact that I was still plagued by hunger and thirst didn't help one bit. I was almost there now. Just a little more, and I would reach what I had concluded to be the top of the massive tree-trunk. The tree-trunk was wide and likely had alot of branches judging by the leaf-cover. Maybe if I was lucky, there would be just enough room for me to lie down comfortably. Of course, this would also require that there were no branches that jutted out of the wrong place, in the wrong direction. Otherwise, I would just have to break them off. "Finally." Using one hand to grab a large branch, while using my other hand to hold onto the edge, I slowly pulled myself up into the treetop. My body ached painfully with a dull trob. I had to pretty much strain myself in order to get up here. Fingers cutting deep gashes into the wood, I laid down to rest, panting heavily. A new moderate wave of light-headedness pulsated through my mind, blurring my vision and making me feel weak yet once again. It wasn't enough to send me falling had I been standing upright, but it was enough to make me clutch my head with one hand, while making the gashes deeper with the other hand, causing me to scream out in serious annoyance and agony. Damned dizziness. I never should have done that. I never should have screamed. Why? The answer is so very simple. Because I was not alone. Had I remained silent and taken the time to recover, so that I could at least sit up and take a good look around at the place that I now realised I had carelessy chosen to sleep in, I would have noticed by now, that I obviously wasn't the only one who needed some rest. Because even in the obscuring darkness and my clouding dizziness, I was able to spot the group of glowing blue and yellow eyes staring back at me with what I could only guess to be their own simplified version of shock. The shock turned to anger as the whole treetop quickly became filled with the annoyed sounds of screeching and hissing. I mentally chasitised myself for commiting such a stupid mistake. I had been careless, no doubt. I had been dead wrong when I thought that all the animals had moved off in a heartbeat upon hearing that agonized howl I let out earlier in the evening. Because not all of them had left. Either that, or they had returned. And right now, right there and then, I was facing them and being glared down by them. It didn't take a genius to figure out that they did not take very kindly to instruders. Unfortunately, I was exactly such an instruder. And while they were not very big, their sheer numbers, currently angry mood, and nasty bite was not something to be joked around with. Cautiously, I got up in a sitting position and quickly identified the animals species. Bats. Alot of bats. Mostly nocturnal by nature. Are fiercely protective of their young. Sometimes lives in flocks. Eats insects only. Are fairly small and usually harmless, but can sometimes dive at predators and give a nasty bite when threatened. I was clearly no insect and I didn't view the bats as prey, but it was plain obvious to me as daylight that the said bats looked at me like I was some sort of large fierce predator who were willing to attack them, thus making me seem like a dangerous threat. They wanted me to leave. They also didn't seem very keen on simply leaving this tree in favor of another possible sleeping-place. Guess I couldn't blame them. After all, if I had been in their situation, wouldn't I have wanted to stand my ground and defend both myself and my home too, rather than back away and act like a feeble coward? And I did look rather scary. Deadly, even. Right now, they were merely protecting what they considered to be theirs. It made sense. Everything did. And thus, after some more hissing, screeching and glaring...the bats attacked. "Kiiiiiiiii!" "Oh, SNAP!" Throwing myself back hard into the wooden floor, I instantly tried to cover myself up as to protect the more vulnerable parts of my body. That did little to repel the winged animals, though. Instead they just kept diving wildly at me, as if hoping that this would make me go away and leave them alone. Sadly, it never worked. Part of me wanted to leave, maybe just forget about it, and jump to another treetop where there were no angry animals, but my fear of heights held me back. I had obviously gotten fairly high up. Also, another more stubborn part of my personality wanted to endure this colony, maybe even fight them, if I had to. I wouldn't chase them away, that would be both cruel and selfish. But sooner or later, they would have to realise that their attacks so far didn't work all that much on me, that I wasn't a threat, and that I wasn't going to leave just like that. Hopefully by then, we could simply share this damned treetop together, instead of fighting over it. Tomorrow, I would leave and likely never come back again. They would just have to tolerate me until then. All I wanted right now, was to get some sleep for the night. They were not about to grant me that, not without a fight at least.